Many people seem to regret certain things about their lives. They look back and wonder if they've been doing what they should have been doing. They're not sure if they've wasted their lives or not. They don't know if they are who they were meant to be.
But there's a lot of hope still, because I think that Heaven is just going to be the place where we are able to fully be who we were meant to be.
In fact, that's why hell would be so bad. If someone is depressed now in this life thinking on how they haven't done what they were meant to do, imagine doing so for eternity. Imagine never ever being able to be fulfilled. In the absence of God, we cannot flourish. We cannot be who we were meant to be because He intended us for Himself. If we separate ourselves from Him, then we have denied ourselves the opportunity to be fully alive.
To all those who feel lost and think they have wasted their time: no one has to wait to be who they were created to be. Everyone can do that at any and every moment of the day. You just have to tell God you want it: "God, make me that which you created me to be, because I'm doing a terrible job on my own."
Perhaps purgatory is just us becoming who we were meant to be, and then heaven is our enjoyment of it.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
What's it like?
To a newly ordained priest, the question is often asked:
"What's it like to be a priest?"
Allow me to explain in greater detail than small talk after Mass might allow for:
IT IS EXACTLY WHAT I EXPECTED IT TO BE.
I expected it to be an incredible amount of work and immensely rewarding. Everyday I wake up shocked by two things: how much I have to do and how much I love doing it. While fretting over my present responsibilities, I still daydream about new projects and new ways of getting God's message of love out there to people. The harvest is plenty, the laborers are few.
I expected it to be crowded and lonely, happy and sad. I'm thankful for my many friends (priests or not) who continually offer their support and encouragement through what is truly a roller coaster life. I'm thankful for my daily prayer, that mainstay of God's presence that stands as a reminder to me that I am not alone, that I can breathe in his Spirit throughout the day so as to not choke on the fumes of doubt and selfishness.
I expected myself to be completely prepared for it, insofar as I trusted that God was in control, and completely unprepared insofar as I might trust to my own abilities and plans.
I expected to be surprised. I expected not to know how to handle half of what comes my way. I expected complete and utter newness.
And yet, I expected to know just what to do or say whenever doing or saying was requisite. God has yet to fail me in this regard (though I do have a bad habit of letting my own ideas get in the way of his).
I expected to be confident that this is my calling, that God has me where he wants me.
It is exactly what I expected it to be.
"What's it like to be a priest?"
Allow me to explain in greater detail than small talk after Mass might allow for:
IT IS EXACTLY WHAT I EXPECTED IT TO BE.
I expected it to be an incredible amount of work and immensely rewarding. Everyday I wake up shocked by two things: how much I have to do and how much I love doing it. While fretting over my present responsibilities, I still daydream about new projects and new ways of getting God's message of love out there to people. The harvest is plenty, the laborers are few.
I expected it to be crowded and lonely, happy and sad. I'm thankful for my many friends (priests or not) who continually offer their support and encouragement through what is truly a roller coaster life. I'm thankful for my daily prayer, that mainstay of God's presence that stands as a reminder to me that I am not alone, that I can breathe in his Spirit throughout the day so as to not choke on the fumes of doubt and selfishness.
I expected myself to be completely prepared for it, insofar as I trusted that God was in control, and completely unprepared insofar as I might trust to my own abilities and plans.
I expected to be surprised. I expected not to know how to handle half of what comes my way. I expected complete and utter newness.
And yet, I expected to know just what to do or say whenever doing or saying was requisite. God has yet to fail me in this regard (though I do have a bad habit of letting my own ideas get in the way of his).
I expected to be confident that this is my calling, that God has me where he wants me.
It is exactly what I expected it to be.
Hopes and Dreams
I sometimes doubt whether or not what I do makes a difference. I sometimes doubt that I am doing what I ought to be doing with what God has given me. I sometimes doubt that my plans for God's people are in fact God's plans for His people.
And I know that I am not the only doubter out there. Many people come to me with very serious issues: fear, uncertainty, doubt, confusion. No one really seems to know where he stands before God. Whether it is the next couple hours, the next week, the next year - how is it that we are to glorify God?
Worries like this melt away when I read:
"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much as dawned on man what God has prepared for those who love him." (Paul in 1 Corinthians, quoting Isaiah 64:3)
Oh, I see - no matter what my own scheming may present for the future, whatever hopes I might have in my own achievements, or even in what God himself is planning to achieve, with or without me, I have nothing to worry about.
Why? Because there is nothing that I can possible think of that is better than what he has in store for us. I aim to keep working as best I can for him, happy to share joy and sorrow alike, secure in the knowledge that he will bring about in us this great thing that has not even dawned upon us. It's so good that we--who are so quick to separate ourselves from the good--can't even imagine it.
That's part of why we find it so hard to trust in God. His plan doesn't fit into what we think his plan should be. But guess what: his plan is way better than our own.
And I know that I am not the only doubter out there. Many people come to me with very serious issues: fear, uncertainty, doubt, confusion. No one really seems to know where he stands before God. Whether it is the next couple hours, the next week, the next year - how is it that we are to glorify God?
Worries like this melt away when I read:
"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much as dawned on man what God has prepared for those who love him." (Paul in 1 Corinthians, quoting Isaiah 64:3)
Oh, I see - no matter what my own scheming may present for the future, whatever hopes I might have in my own achievements, or even in what God himself is planning to achieve, with or without me, I have nothing to worry about.
Why? Because there is nothing that I can possible think of that is better than what he has in store for us. I aim to keep working as best I can for him, happy to share joy and sorrow alike, secure in the knowledge that he will bring about in us this great thing that has not even dawned upon us. It's so good that we--who are so quick to separate ourselves from the good--can't even imagine it.
That's part of why we find it so hard to trust in God. His plan doesn't fit into what we think his plan should be. But guess what: his plan is way better than our own.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A sad end to Thanksgiving
I had a great day today. It started with Mass, then a nice leisurely morning void of responsibilities. Thanksgiving dinner was at my sister's house with her family, her in-laws, and my other sister's family too. It was great, and I love being around my nieces and nephews. Then in the evening, I went to an aunt's house to see a gathering of extended family. I left there around 8:15.
As I drove down Bel Air Blvd, I passed Toys R Us, and I saw the line. Well over a hundred people were waiting in line for the store to open at 9:00. Now, I haven't been living under a rock; I knew well in advance that a bunch of stores were opening late on Thanksgiving as a jumpstart to Black Friday. I thought it was absurd and extreme, though I didn't really think much about it.
Seeing it was different. It was shocking. I had just left a wonderful family gathering, an evening well spent. Next thing I know, I'm witnessing hundreds of people wasting that precious family time, and for what? Saving some money on Christmas shopping? Do you really think that getting the best toy at the lowest price for your family is more important than being with your family?
Well, you might say, "maybe the whole family was there; it was a family event." Really? Standing in line waiting to get the best deals is the best "family time" you can come up with? Stay home and play a game or watch a movie or something, anything.
Go shopping tomorrow. Is nothing sacred?
As I drove down Bel Air Blvd, I passed Toys R Us, and I saw the line. Well over a hundred people were waiting in line for the store to open at 9:00. Now, I haven't been living under a rock; I knew well in advance that a bunch of stores were opening late on Thanksgiving as a jumpstart to Black Friday. I thought it was absurd and extreme, though I didn't really think much about it.
Seeing it was different. It was shocking. I had just left a wonderful family gathering, an evening well spent. Next thing I know, I'm witnessing hundreds of people wasting that precious family time, and for what? Saving some money on Christmas shopping? Do you really think that getting the best toy at the lowest price for your family is more important than being with your family?
Well, you might say, "maybe the whole family was there; it was a family event." Really? Standing in line waiting to get the best deals is the best "family time" you can come up with? Stay home and play a game or watch a movie or something, anything.
Go shopping tomorrow. Is nothing sacred?
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
4th of July Weekend
I've been on the other side of ordination for over three weeks now. After a few weeks of off time (spending time at the beach with friends, moving in to the rectory, and travelling to St. Bernard Abbey and EWTN), I've officially started my assignment as parochial vicar of St. Pius X in Mobile.
The weekend was a blessed one. I preached all three Masses, and was the principal celebrant at two of them. The parish threw a reception for me after each one, and it was a great opportunity to begin getting to know all of these new faces.
Next came July 4th, which is also my birthday. I celebrated Mass in the morning (saying Mass on your birthday is pretty cool), and I was glad that daily Mass was in the church and not in the chapel, because there is no better place to celebrate Mass on July 4th in the city of Mobile than St. Pius X.
The great stained glass windows above the main doors depict, simultaneously, God's providential care of the United States of America and a certain parallelism between Judeo-Christian stories/themes and the history of the US. It has everything from the Constitution (or maybe the Declaration of Independence?) to the Spirit of St. Louis and even a lunar module. Watching over everything is the resurrected Christ showing his wounds.
The weekend was a blessed one. I preached all three Masses, and was the principal celebrant at two of them. The parish threw a reception for me after each one, and it was a great opportunity to begin getting to know all of these new faces.
Next came July 4th, which is also my birthday. I celebrated Mass in the morning (saying Mass on your birthday is pretty cool), and I was glad that daily Mass was in the church and not in the chapel, because there is no better place to celebrate Mass on July 4th in the city of Mobile than St. Pius X.
 |
| The main stained glass window at St. Pius X, Mobile; there are more to the left and right that depict similar motifs. |
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| Detail showing the Visitation and spacewalk. |
It's certainly a unique depiction, and it provided the idea for my Fourth of July homily: as we celebrate our Independence from the British Crown, we should all take time to remember and rejoice in our dependence on God.
One particularly intriguing parallel is made between our Lord in the womb of the Virgin Mary at the Visitation (or maybe it's John the Baptist in Elizabeth's womb?) and a man on a spacewalk, complete with umbilical cord. I think this is the first time I've ever seen inculturation of the Faith into the American ethos. The church was built in the late Sixties, when the space race was captivating the hopes and imagination of the American people.
I'm looking forward to learning more about the artwork from the parishioners and from the founding pastor, Msgr. Jennings.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Salvation for the Wealthy
I am not a "wealthy" person, but I am very aware that there are many people in the world who do not have nearly as much as I do. Especially, as a seminarian, all of my needs have been provided for (thanks be to God and to all of my generous benefactors, known and unknown to me).
And so, whenever I read the following from the Gospel of Matthew (or its parallels in Mark and Luke), I'm generally a little unsettled:
Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to (the) poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible." (Mt 19:21-26)
Normally, the closing words of the passage are what set my mind at ease: "For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible." It's not an excuse to be rich, to be greedy, or to lack charity, that Jesus provides here, but rather a hope that we, who are all attached to the things of this world, have hope in him that we might be able to let go of them and instead hold on to him.
That's my usual thought process in front of this passage, but St. Augustine has clarified it much more in his Exposition of Psalm 85 (86, by most modern numberings). I'll just let him speak for himself:
From St. Augustine's Exposition of Psalm 85:
Bend down your ear and hear me, Lord, for I am needy and destitute. (Ps 86) Not to the rich does he bend down his ear, but to the destitute and the needy; that is, to the humble, to the one who confesses to him, to the one who needs mercy, not to the person who is sated and self-important and boastful as though in need of nothing, the kind who says, I thank you that I am not like that tax collector there (Lk 18:11). The rich Pharisee was flaunting his merits; the poor tax collector was confessing his sins.
But now, my brothers and sisters, you must not take what I have said, "He does not bend his ear down to the rich," to mean that God does not hear those who have gold and silver, a large household and country estates. Such persons may have been born in those circumstances, or may hold that rank in human society, only they should keep the apostle's warning in mind: Instruct the rich of this world not to be high-minded (1 Tm 6:17). Those who are not high-minded are poor in God, and to the poor and destitute and needy he bows down his ear. Such people know that their hope does not lie in gold or silver, nor in any of those things with which they seem to be surrounded for a time. Let them count themselves lucky if their riches do not ruin them; it is gain enough if their wealth is no hindrance, for it cannot be any profit to them. What does profit rich and poor alike is a work of mercy, which a rich person can perform in both will and deed, but a poor person in will only. When people in comfortable circumstances despise whatever there is in them that ordinarily blows up human pride, they are God's poor. God bows down his ear to them, for he knows that their hearts are bruised.
[...]
Learn to be destitute and poor, whether you have possessions in this world or not, for you may find a proud beggar, or again a man of property confessing to God. God thwarts the proud, whether they are clothed from head to foot in silk or in rags, but he grants grace to the humble, whether they own this world's wealth or nothing at all.
Taken from The Works of Saint Augustine: A Translation for the 21st Century, Volume III/18: Expositions of the Psalms.
And so, whenever I read the following from the Gospel of Matthew (or its parallels in Mark and Luke), I'm generally a little unsettled:
Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to (the) poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible." (Mt 19:21-26)
Normally, the closing words of the passage are what set my mind at ease: "For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible." It's not an excuse to be rich, to be greedy, or to lack charity, that Jesus provides here, but rather a hope that we, who are all attached to the things of this world, have hope in him that we might be able to let go of them and instead hold on to him.
That's my usual thought process in front of this passage, but St. Augustine has clarified it much more in his Exposition of Psalm 85 (86, by most modern numberings). I'll just let him speak for himself:
From St. Augustine's Exposition of Psalm 85:
Bend down your ear and hear me, Lord, for I am needy and destitute. (Ps 86) Not to the rich does he bend down his ear, but to the destitute and the needy; that is, to the humble, to the one who confesses to him, to the one who needs mercy, not to the person who is sated and self-important and boastful as though in need of nothing, the kind who says, I thank you that I am not like that tax collector there (Lk 18:11). The rich Pharisee was flaunting his merits; the poor tax collector was confessing his sins.
But now, my brothers and sisters, you must not take what I have said, "He does not bend his ear down to the rich," to mean that God does not hear those who have gold and silver, a large household and country estates. Such persons may have been born in those circumstances, or may hold that rank in human society, only they should keep the apostle's warning in mind: Instruct the rich of this world not to be high-minded (1 Tm 6:17). Those who are not high-minded are poor in God, and to the poor and destitute and needy he bows down his ear. Such people know that their hope does not lie in gold or silver, nor in any of those things with which they seem to be surrounded for a time. Let them count themselves lucky if their riches do not ruin them; it is gain enough if their wealth is no hindrance, for it cannot be any profit to them. What does profit rich and poor alike is a work of mercy, which a rich person can perform in both will and deed, but a poor person in will only. When people in comfortable circumstances despise whatever there is in them that ordinarily blows up human pride, they are God's poor. God bows down his ear to them, for he knows that their hearts are bruised.
[...]
Learn to be destitute and poor, whether you have possessions in this world or not, for you may find a proud beggar, or again a man of property confessing to God. God thwarts the proud, whether they are clothed from head to foot in silk or in rags, but he grants grace to the humble, whether they own this world's wealth or nothing at all.
Taken from The Works of Saint Augustine: A Translation for the 21st Century, Volume III/18: Expositions of the Psalms.
Catastrophe
Well, Judgment Day did not come yesterday. I can't account for anyone who was raptured (though maybe I just don't know any true believers). So what are we left with? The same stuff we had before:
- a God who loves us.
- the invitation to love Him in return.
- the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church through which to do that.
This whole thing was very similar to a "predicted" earthquake that was supposed to topple Rome last week. Many of the Italians didn't go to work that day, and kept their children home from school to prepare and stay safe. But it didn't happen either, just like the world didn't end yesterday.
It's surprising to me that people believe in these kinds of things, when instead, what we're really asked to believe in, is such a reasonable and wonderful divine plan. Sure, it's according to the wisdom of God and not the wisdom of man, so we might not see that wisdom at first. But that doesn't mean it's bonkers, either.
For all those who placed their faith in a date instead of God, I'm truly sorry that you did. Since everything you believed in was false, what now will you do? Do you despair? Do you lose your faith? Or, do you seek out the Truth that sets you free, the Truth that you were mistaken about. For let me assure you, it was not God who got the date wrong. (Not that I think many of these people read my blog, but you never know, right?)
Jesus will come again in glory. I believe and hope that he will. There's no question in my mind.
- a God who loves us.
- the invitation to love Him in return.
- the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church through which to do that.
This whole thing was very similar to a "predicted" earthquake that was supposed to topple Rome last week. Many of the Italians didn't go to work that day, and kept their children home from school to prepare and stay safe. But it didn't happen either, just like the world didn't end yesterday.
It's surprising to me that people believe in these kinds of things, when instead, what we're really asked to believe in, is such a reasonable and wonderful divine plan. Sure, it's according to the wisdom of God and not the wisdom of man, so we might not see that wisdom at first. But that doesn't mean it's bonkers, either.
For all those who placed their faith in a date instead of God, I'm truly sorry that you did. Since everything you believed in was false, what now will you do? Do you despair? Do you lose your faith? Or, do you seek out the Truth that sets you free, the Truth that you were mistaken about. For let me assure you, it was not God who got the date wrong. (Not that I think many of these people read my blog, but you never know, right?)
Jesus will come again in glory. I believe and hope that he will. There's no question in my mind.
 |
| The world might not have ended, but my awesome cheap sunglasses have. After having them for three years, they broke a couple weeks ago. Best €10 I ever spent. |
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Dr. Grace Augustine and Augustine, Doctor of Grace
I've never seen Avatar, but I just did a Google search for "Augustine the Doctor of Grace" (because that's what he's called) and learned that Sigourney Weaver's character in the movie is Dr. Grace Augustine...
That's a pretty big coincidence. Is James Cameron a closet patrologist?
Unfortunately, in order to learn more, I'd have to watch the movie, and that's not likely to happen. I have happily steered clear of the hype for this long, and I don't aim to change that.
That's a pretty big coincidence. Is James Cameron a closet patrologist?
Unfortunately, in order to learn more, I'd have to watch the movie, and that's not likely to happen. I have happily steered clear of the hype for this long, and I don't aim to change that.
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