For part of my retreat, I did lectio divina with the story of the man born blind from John's Gospel (Ch. 9). I meditated with much of the story, but the final words of Jesus to the Pharisees struck me in a particular way:
If you were blind you would not be guilty,
but since you say, "We can see," your guilt remains.
For a very long time I have thought myself able to see, and because of this, I've been stuck in my sin and pride. However, through the past couple of years, and especially on this retreat, it is ever clearer to me that I am blind. I am constantly lying prostrate asking for God's help simply because I know I am incapable. I can only see because he gives light to my eyes.
This story is after all centered on Jesus' statement "I AM the Light of the World." I was born blind, as was the man in the story, as well as the Pharisees. And, like the Pharisees, I have insisted for all my life that I can see. Now I know this is wrong; I can only see because he makes me to see.
God is content to let us continue on claiming we can see, claiming to have everything figured out, claiming to have the Truth. He patiently bears with all of that nonsense. He grants us the power to push him away, and we do not hesitate to use it. But every so often, he completely brings down the barriers and leaps into our experience. Every now and then, we need to be undone. Thank God for those times when he disturbs us. He stirs up the waters and brings our stagnant faith back to life.
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